So much shouting, so much laughter

Thu, 03 Sep 2009 20:01:39 GMT

I got this in the mail last week from the career center:

EPIC FOREHEAD SMACK.

ten weeks down, two years to go

Fri, 14 Aug 2009 03:44:28 GMT

I'm done with the summer program - Design Boot Camp is finished!

I did really well, and hopefully soon I can put the projects I did over the summer up onto my portfolio website. Fall semester starts September 9, so I've got a few weeks off to relax and spend some time getting back into derby.

Everyone seemed really impressed with my progress and my technical skill, so I'm confident in my ability to rock this Master's program. Plus I'm so incredibly glad to be back in school, and to be doing creative work all the time. For all the homework, for all the late nights, for all the financial crap I'm trying not to think about, I am having a great time. It's so good to be learning again. I know it's not going to be easy, but if things continue as they've been it sure is going to be fun.

I am in Boston

Sat, 06 Jun 2009 01:51:24 GMT

I moved yesterday.

We had our program orientation this morning. I'm one of three students in the summer program. I'm excited for classes to start on Monday but a little nervous about the amount of work that's going to be involved. I think it's going to be good, fun, challenging work though.

And I am, as ever, worried about the money situation. Fortunately I already have a lot of the art supplies I'll need, but there's still expensive things left to buy.

saturday night

Tue, 26 May 2009 17:30:36 GMT

The bout on Saturday went great. I had some pre-bout nerves but they pretty much went away after I put my gear on and started warming up. Everything went (fairly) smoothly, or as smoothly as these things can go, anyway. My one big mistake was not warming up enough, as I had some annoying shin/calf pain and tightness through the first period. I know that always happens to me when I first start skaing hard, so there's no excuse for not getting it out of the way before the bout. I guess I thought I'd warmed up enough, but now I know better.

Extra bonus: Maine won the bout. I hope I get to do it again next time.

There's a (surprisingly not terrible) photo of me after the bout here.

Promotion!

Thu, 21 May 2009 01:56:52 GMT

So this might not mean anything to anyone other than fraterrisus, but I'm getting a roller derby "promotion" and making my WFTDA sanctioned debut on Saturday. Previously I've reffed scrimmages and unsanctioned bouts (ie, bouts that don't have an impact on a team's official WFTDA ranking), and been the official jam-timer for all of MRD's bouts, but never been a penalty-calling referee in a sanctioned bout. But we have an opening this weekend and our head ref wants me backing him up on inside pack. I'm a little bit nervous, but mostly excited. I've wanted to step up for a while now but a combination of timidity and lack of seniority has prevented me. I'm confident, though, because I know my shit and I've been studying up on the new ruleset that was released a few weeks ago.

The head ref asked me at the beginning of practice tonight if I'd be willing to step up, and I basically said "hells yes." It's a huge vote of confidence that he thinks I'm the best qualified to ref inside pack, since normally newer derby refs start in the "easy" position outside the track. It's sort of a seniority thing. The totem pole generally goes Non-Skating Official < Outside Pack < Inside Pack < Jam Ref < Head Ref. But I have the most experience and am most comfortable on the inside anyway, so I think this is going to be a blast.

Of course, this leaves us without an experienced jam-timer. We have a perpetual shortage of non-skating officials here in Portland, so I'm probably going to be pulling double-duty starting jams and timing the 30 seconds between them. Our head ref will back me up with a 2:00 kitchen timer so I don't have to take my eyes off the skaters during jams by staring at a stopwatch the whole time. So hopefully we won't have any disasters that jeopardize the bout's official sanctioning.

And if I'm really lucky the skaters won't even yell at me too much. HA!

Doubly a Twit

Sat, 02 May 2009 00:32:16 GMT

I'm on Twitter now, if you're into that sort of thing. I'm actually on twitter twice, because I'm insane.

You can find me as Ruth of All Evil, which is my twitter account for following and communicating with people I know in real life or who I'm just more interested in.
And also as MGChains, which I use for networking, advertising, chatting with other Etsy sellers, linking to my shop, talking about chainmail projects I'm working on, and various other self-promotional activities. I try not to be too spammy, but the whole point of that account is to promote my Etsy shop.

Boston / Art School update

Tue, 28 Apr 2009 19:24:31 GMT

So the friend-of-the-family renting situation looks like it's going to work out, so I'll be renting a room in a house in Chelsea for a while.

I got my financial aid letter and it's 100% loans. This is... less than ideal. So I'm applying to fellowships and crossing my fingers for some sort of miracle on the jewelry business front. I've been promoting the heck out of my shop and had a great week a couple weeks ago, but nothing since then. I've also got a twitter account for the shop over at http://twitter.com/MGChains if that sort of thing interests you.

If you've got a LJ or another blog I would deeply appreciate if you could plug my Etsy shop. I can't give you anything in return but a big hug and a heartfelt thank-you, and the knowledge that if I make any sales it's another brick in the road to living as a full-time artist/jewelry maker/graphic designer. The web address is http://MGChains.Etsy.com

an early birthday present

Sun, 05 Apr 2009 03:02:25 GMT

So I realize I haven't written a substantial update in this here journal in a long time. I've been twittering and facebook status-updating so some of you know this already but check it:

I've been accepted into the Master of Arts in Graphic Design program at NESAD. I'm gonna be a grad student!

Technically I'm "conditionally accepted," meaning I have to pass the pre-grad summer program this summer before I'm a real live grad student. But yeah. Grad school. In Boston.

---

The whole process has been terrifying and stressful and anxiety-producing, from filling out financial aid forms to writing my Statement of Personal Goals (which took me almost two months), requesting letters of recommendation, being told the admissions department couldn't find my letters of recommendation, and months of uncertainty about what my future holds. Until last Thursday I didn't know what city I'd be living in in two months. Lots of sleepless nights and anxiety and retreating into computer games for hours on end. But I got a call from the program director on Thursday, and everything worked out better than I dared hope. They were impressed with my website and my experience, so I get to jump into a more accelerated path than I thought I'd have to take.

Now begins the scary process of figuring out where I'm going to live and how I'm going to pay for all this. Colin's going to be staying in Portland for now, and I'm hoping to commute back as many weekends as I can. We haven't really been apart for a significant length of time since we first hooked up (8 years ago this Wednesday!), and it's going to be rough. But it's not forever and Boston is only two hours away and it's going to make life so much better in the long run that it's going to be worth it. It has to be.

I'm not sure how the money situation is going to work out. Even if I thought I could work full time and go to school, I've already been unemployed for six months with no prospects so who knows if I'll find any sort of job in Boston. I'm waiting on an award letter from financial aid to see how rough this is going to be. There's a chance I'll be able to rent a room from a friend of the family, which could be really helpful if it works out. Fingers crossed but trying not to count my chickens before I've seen the eggs.

Obviously I won't be able to ref full time for Maine Roller Derby anymore, which makes me sad sad sad. There are other leagues around though so I'll probably volunteer for Boston or New Hampshire when I can. Derby is such a major part of my life now that I can't imagine giving it up completely. Besides, I'm just getting my WFTDA Referee Certification and it would be a shame not to put that to use.

Announcing MeghanGrammer.com

Mon, 02 Mar 2009 18:27:41 GMT

As someone who talks a big game about wanting to get an MA in graphic design, it seemed important that I have a personal website to show off my design chops. Web design isn't really what I want to focus on, but I like to think I can wrestle CSS and Javascript into shape when I have to.

So consider this your formal invitation to MeghanGrammer.com. Please take a look and let me know what you think. But only if you love it.

In related news, my Etsy shop is open for business over at MGChains.etsy.com. Yes, I've restarted the chainmail "business," for really real this time.

Ironic Therapy Note of the Day

Tue, 24 Feb 2009 19:56:24 GMT

I crave praise and applause for being strong and independent enough not to need praise and applause.

WWOD?

Thu, 22 Jan 2009 18:19:11 GMT

Dad had an idea for a t-shirt/bumper sticker, and I made it happen:

You can get it from CafePress.

Buffalo

Thu, 25 Dec 2008 01:59:31 GMT

Plans were made, plane tickets were purchased. I'm going to be in Buffalo from 1/1 to 1/5.

AND I'm going to be reffing for the Queen City Roller Girls at their bout on Jan 3. So if you're in Buffalo and you haven't checked out the roller derby team yet, this is the perfect time to see a bout! Special guest referee Ruth of All Evil in the hiz-ouse!

Now I gotta go figure out if I can fit my skate gear in a carry-on bag.

travel plans

Sat, 20 Dec 2008 17:10:13 GMT

Buffalo friends, if I go to Buffalo January 1-4ish, will I get a chance to see you?

Prop 8: The Musical

Wed, 03 Dec 2008 17:50:00 GMT

See more Jack Black videos at Funny or Die

higher learning

Fri, 14 Nov 2008 17:26:48 GMT

So on Wednesday I bought a round-trip ticket and wedged my generous ass into a seat a bus bound for Boston and the New England School of Art and Design. NESAD has the graphic design program I'm currently leaning towards applying to. They've got the highest-level program I'm likely to get admitted to, as someone without a BFA in graphic design, or even a BFA in anything. They offer a pre-graduate summer program, 10 weeks of art school boot camp, and will conditionally accept you to the masters program. I.e. if you get a B or better in the pre-grad summer thing, not only do you get accepted into the MAGD program but you also get to skip some foundation courses.

So I sat on a bus and watched all but the last 10 minutes of a bad movie (Indiana Jones and the Magnetic Alien Head). We pulled into South Station just as crazy Russian lady was screaming to the aliens about wanting to know everything. I think I can guess how that turns out.

Somehow I'd gotten myself mixed up when looking at the map (which I forgot to bring with me, of course) ahead of time, and what I thought was the southwest corner of Boston Common was really the southEAST corner. I went a few blocks in the wrong direction, realized Arlington St wasn't where I'd imagined it to be, downloaded google-maps to my phone and got myself straightened out.

Once I found the building I got a quick tour of the department. While looking at the classrooms themselves doesn't reveal a whole lot (oh look, another classroom full of computers with a projector screen in front) I was trying to get a feel for the student assignments on the walls and the general mood of the place. Do the projects and assignments look interesting? (yes) Are they things I could imagine myself doing? (yes) Are there people around and working or is the place deserted after classes end? (still lots of people there when I left at 7:30) Et cetera.

All (except one) of the people I met were very friendly and helpful and encouraging. The one woman I met who wasn't encouraging acted as if I had just stumbled in off the street and told her I wanted to start my thesis. Yes, I realize there's a lot of work involved for someone without a BFA. Yes, I know I'd need to take this-that-and-the-other foundation course. Yes, my computer skills are fine. I could probably teach your lower-level Adobe classes, in fact. That's pretty much why I spent two hours on a bus to attend a one hour info session - because I realize how much work is involved and the challenges I'd face, and I want to make sure I like the place before I commit to that.

So there's still a ways to go, but I feel like I'm one step closer to art school. There's lots of scary logistics involving money and moving and income and rent and what Colin does while I'm grad-schooling it up, etc. And how to still do roller derby somehow, whether commuting back to Maine on weekends or hooking up with NHRD or BDD or the new league I hear rumours about outside of Boston.

The whole process is scary and exciting at the same time. Here's hoping I don't blow it somehow!

bittersweet

Wed, 05 Nov 2008 13:43:06 GMT

As happy as I am about President-Elect Barack Obama, I am absolutely sick that proposition 8 (apparently) passed in California. I sort of considered Arizona and Florida to be lost causes, but I didn't think California would let me down so hard.

As Melissa says over at Shakesville: "And I still want to grab by the shoulders and shake every person who voted for inequality and demand to know of them: "How could you?"

How can you bigoted fucks invalidate the marriages of 2.5 million people in the name of defending marriage? And how dare you celebrate?

thank the FSM

Wed, 05 Nov 2008 06:06:38 GMT

Obama wins! new puppies for everyone!

I've always been a Democrat.

Wed, 29 Oct 2008 01:02:28 GMT

What woman DOESN'T love Yogurt?

Mon, 27 Oct 2008 19:45:43 GMT

more DFW

Wed, 22 Oct 2008 03:07:41 GMT

Reading through Infinite Jest, again. It really does get better with each read. But it's really, really hard to read some chapters - the bits about depression and characters who commit or attempt suicide in particular. Here's somebody who says why better than I can (the rest of this piece is here, and it's well worth a read):

But for as much as Wallace expended his prodigious talent plumbing the harrowing depths of depression, addiction, violence, and loss, and for as much as his biography suggested he’d known those demons intimately, I was confident he’d found a way to transcend them. I took solace in the notion that, by carefully and exhaustively reasoning out the ways in which we destroy each other and ourselves, he’d emerged on the other side whole—if not in a place of understanding, then of compassion—and could help his readers do the same. The few characters in Infinite Jest who manage not to destroy themselves—most notably, the recovering drug addict and reformed criminal Don Gately—seem to have figured something out their peers haven’t: a way to keep the pieces glued together and cope with the pain in their lives while never dispelling it entirely.

Suicide is baffling, the most absurd and haunting end to a human life. Mapping any kind of logic onto suicide is futile, but that doesn’t stop us from trying. I had always believed, perhaps naively, that by examining—with great patience, compassion, and wit—the frailties of human existence, Wallace had found a way to cope with them, much like the damaged but redeemed Don Gately. I had to believe that, like Gately, he was coping, because to imagine that he wasn’t—which, as we learned over the weekend, he surely wasn’t—is so bleak: to think that one of the smartest writers in history had spent his entire adult life wrestling with the absurdities and injustices of the human condition, and still hadn’t found a solution—well, where does that leave the rest of us?

-Jake Mohan

I still, when I pick the book up frontside-down and catch a glimpse of DFW's photo on the back cover, I still think to myself Damn. Damn. Damn. Where does it leave the rest of us?

home alone all week

Fri, 26 Sep 2008 12:47:32 GMT

So for once I'm home by myself all day while Colin goes off to work.

It's sort of great, so far.

I've been 'hired' by my former boss (the one who left FMC in May to start his own business, not the BLEEP who laid me off) to build his website. Which is a little daunting, but what he needs isn't too complicated so I'm sure I can pull it off.

And I decided to go back to school. I'd like to get either an advanced certificate or a masters in graphic design. I want to do this shit for real. Hopefully, this time next year I'll be studying like mad in Boston.

why i want to do the graphic design thing

Mon, 22 Sep 2008 01:18:52 GMT

Because sometimes you get an idea and spend hours monkeying with it and it just comes out right. I've had my share of flops but this one I'm really proud of:

so much for starting small

Fri, 19 Sep 2008 21:39:51 GMT

I got laid off today.

Hopefully this will be a catalyst for major positive changes, and not a complete financial and emotional disaster.

Thu, 18 Sep 2008 23:55:54 GMT

With perhaps an unnecessary amount of tooth-gnashing and fretting about the cost, I signed up for a design class with MECA's Continuing Ed department. I gave up my Thursdays (my only free weeknight), but it's only for 7 weeks and only $350. And if were really serious about this graphic design thing, this is actually a pretty tiny and noncommittal way to Turn My Life Around.

But it's a start. And hey, I'm great at starting things! It's my follow-through that's usually lacking.

I am in here.

Mon, 15 Sep 2008 21:59:54 GMT

The so-called 'psychotically depressed' person who tries to kill herself doesn't do so out of quote 'hopelessness' or any abstract conviction that life's assets and debits do not square. And surely not because death seems suddenly appealing. The person in whom Its invisible agony reaches a certain unendurable level will kill herself the same way a trapped person will eventually jump from the window of a burning high-rise. Make no mistake about people who leap from burning windows. Their terror of falling from a great height is still just as great as it would be for you or me standing speculatively at the same window just checking out the view; i.e. the fear of falling remains a constant. The variable here is the other terror, the fire's flames: when the flames get close enough, falling to death becomes the slightly less terrible of two terrors. It's not desiring the fall; it's terror of the flames. And yet nobody down on the sidewalk, looking up and yelling 'Don't!' and 'Hang on!', can understand the jump. Not really. You'd have to have personally been trapped and felt flames to really understand a terror way beyond falling.

--Infinite Jest, DFW